Miscarriage and infant loss day refers to a special day celebrated every year on October 15, which is dedicated to those mothers who have lost their precious children during pregnancy or after birth. This day is not a day to forget the grief, but rather a day to remember those lost little lives with love and hold each other’s hands.
Well, when we are dreaming of becoming a mother, if suddenly our laps are empty, then it is not possible to explain that pain with any words in the world. Many people in the village may say “Oh little baby, it will happen again!” But only the mother whose chest is empty understands the value of that life growing inside her womb. The main purpose of Miscarriage and infant loss day is to make you understand that you are not alone. Thousands of mothers like you are carrying the burden of this silent pain. Aisen, I don’t understand the importance of this day and how we can turn this deep gratitude into strength.
October 15th: Why is this day so full of tears and love?
October is called ‘Pregnancy and Infant Death Awareness Month’ all over the world. And right in the middle of it, October 15th is Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day. There is a big history behind observing this day. This special arrangement is made so that the tears accumulated in the hearts of mothers do not get buried in the corners of the house. On this day, mothers from all over the world light candles at 7 pm. This is called ‘Wave of Light’.
Do you think this day is just for crying? Not at all! Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day is a day to acknowledge the existence of those beauties who have gone to the land of stars before coming to our laps. Many village elders or elders say “The child is spoiled, it will be bad if you eat it.” These are wrong. You have every right to grieve. This day teaches us that the child who was in my stomach for just a few weeks was also one of my family. Honoring his memory means honoring your own motherhood. This one drop of tears and the light of a candle are the best prayers for your lost love.
Join the ‘Wave of Light’ or the procession of light
On October 15th at 7 pm for one hour, a huge wave of light is created all over the world. This light of Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day means that even if your love is lost, its light will always shine in your mind. This is a spiritual power to dispel the darkness of grief.
Breaking the Silence Day
Many are ashamed or afraid to talk about their children. Miscarriage and infant loss day gives us the courage to open our mouths. Talking reduces the burden on our minds. If your lost child had a name, then on this day, bring that name to your mouth. The real meaning of this day is to acknowledge the fact that he was coming.
Stones in the mind: When grief consumes
Losing a child means not just losing a body, but losing an ocean of dreams. On Miscarriage and infant loss day, those secrets in the minds of mothers come to the fore that they cannot tell anyone. After the baby is gone, you feel very alone, your own body feels like an enemy. Questions arise in your mind “Why did this happen to me?” or “Did I not eat and drink properly?”
Do you feel guilty? Listen, miscarriage or infant death are mostly caused by natural causes, in which you have no hand. Miscarriage and infant loss day reminds us that we need to stop blaming ourselves. When you are drowning in the sea of grief, remember this is a long journey. This pain will not go away in a day. Crying is good, tears release the poison of the mind. This day gives us the opportunity to be each other’s shoulders. When another mother hears your pain, you will see that the stone in your chest has become a little lighter.
The ignorant words of people around you
Many people find it difficult to console them. For example “It’s better, it’s better to die than to have a crippled child!” Miscarriage and infant loss day teaches us to keep our ears and minds away from all these cruel words. Don’t hurt yourself by listening to people’s words. Grieving is not a sin, it is another form of love.
Paying the price for the father’s pain
When a child is lost, not only the mother’s heart breaks, but also the father’s. But men don’t cry easily. On Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day, it is necessary to create an environment where fathers can also talk about their pain. Husbands and wives light candles together, hold each other’s hands. Grieving together strengthens the bond.
Body and Mind Care: Surviving a New Life
After losing a child, the body is also very broken. It is very normal to be irritable or stay in bed all day due to hormonal changes. Miscarriage and infant loss day reminds us that it is most important for you to take care of yourself now. If the body is not healthy inside, the wounds of the mind will not heal. Eat nutritious food, take a walk in the sun.
Don’t you feel like eating something? Even if you are forced, drink coconut water or a little fruit juice. On Miscarriage and infant loss day, promise yourself that you will not give up. You have to keep the memory of your lost love alive in your chest and dress yourself with new enthusiasm. If you see that it has been a long time and you are unable to leave the bed, then take help from an adult or consult a doctor. Do not let your mind get lost in the darkness of sadness. Only if you are alive will the memory of your love live on. Trust in Allah time heals all wounds.
Create a corner of remembrance
You can plant a tree or a flower pot in the name of your lost child at home. Watering or taking care of that tree on Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day will change your pain in your heart into peace. When the flowers bloom, it will feel like your heart is smiling.
Courage to try again
Many people are afraid that this will happen again! Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day gives us the courage to dream new dreams. When the body is ready and the mind agrees, then try to become a mother again. Conquering fear is the rule of life. Just as the sky does not become empty when a star falls, Allah will fill your lap with fear again this is the belief.
Do you want to know the next steps and comfort?
We learned what this day means and why we need to express our grief. But how do we stand tall under the pressure of society and family? Or how can this grief be transformed into a greater purpose? In the second phase of Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day, we will learn how to raise awareness in society and how to help other grieving mothers. Remember, you will see the light through the cracks in your heart one day!
Harsh words and superstitions of society: Techniques for closing ears
Come on, there is a saying in our village “The child of a mother whose forehead is burnt does not survive.” When these ugly words come to our ears, it is as if someone is holding a knife in our heart. Miscarriage and infant loss day teaches us that all these superstitions have no value. Losing a child is not a curse, and losing a child after becoming a mother does not mean that you are ‘unlucky’. This is just an accident of the body or a test of Allah’s purity.
Do you think you can explain to people? No, come on, it is more important to keep yourself calm than to explain with your mouth. On Miscarriage and infant loss day, say to yourself “My husband has passed away, but he has made me a mother.” It is difficult to explain to those who say “It will happen again, why are you crying?” That is there another life in exchange for one life? Learn to respect your gratitude. When you light a candle on October 15, show the society that your love has not died. Don’t keep it to yourself you have not committed any crime.
Talk to your mother-in-law or elders
Sometimes the elders of the house advise you to recite prayers, kalams or poetry without understanding. On Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day, explain to them that this is a medical problem. If you take the doctor with you and explain to them, they may understand your state of mind. It is very difficult to overcome this mountain of grief without the love of your family.
Stay away from superstitions
Many people say “The child is spoiled, now don’t look at your face in the mirror or go to the kitchen.” These are completely foul words. Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day calls us to come out of our darkness into the light. The sooner you return to normal work, the sooner your mind will calm down. Don’t hold back your body by tightening it.
Holding hands with other grieving mothers: An unbreakable bond
You may think you are the only one in the world who is suffering this pain. But miscarriage and infant loss day shows us that mothers in your neighborhood or in another village may also be shedding the same tears in secret. Talking to each other on this day works like magic. When you share the story of your lost love with another mother, you will find that the burden of pain has been halved.
Do you think that talking will increase the pain? Not at all! When the stone stored in the heart comes out through the mouth, you will feel much lighter. On miscarriage and infant loss day, daimaras or neighbors can hold a courtyard meeting. There, they pray for the lost children or cherish their memories. This is not a matter of shame, but a great opportunity to be brave for each other. When a broken heart stands by another broken heart, the Himalayas can be conquered with that strength. Your experience may show another mother a new way to live.
Lighting a candle together
On the evening of October 15, if 2-3 mothers in the neighborhood light a candle together, you will see a different kind of peace. This light of Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day will tie all of you together in a thread of gratitude. This is not just for your child, but a donation or dedication for all children.
Understanding the value of silent tears
You don’t always have to talk. Just being by someone’s side on Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day is also a great help. If you see a mother who has lost her child and turned into stone, hold her hand. Let her know that you can feel her pain. This silent compassion is the true identity of a human being.
When grief turns into strength: A noble purpose
Many people transform the unbearable pain of losing a child into a great strength. Miscarriage and infant loss day shows us the way. Can’t you do some good deed in memory of your lost loved one? For example, feed the orphans of the village one day or help some money for the treatment of a poor expectant mother. This will make you feel that your loved one is alive through you.
What do you think is the benefit of doing these? Your mental peace is gained. On Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day, promise to do some good deed. Plant a tree in the name of the lost child or distribute a sapling. When that tree grows and gives shade, you will feel that your child’s existence has spread throughout nature. If you use it for charitable purposes in the mind of the bereaved, depression will decrease a lot. This generosity of yours will give peace to your loved one’s soul. Giving yourself away means finding yourself.
Making mothers-to-be aware
Warn other mothers by sharing your own bitter experience. On Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day, tell the mothers in your neighborhood that if you see any symptoms, you should go to the hospital immediately. These tips of yours may save someone else from having an empty womb. This will be the best souvenir for your child.
Religious rituals and comfort
You can organize special prayers or prayers for your child according to your religion. On Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day, say to yourself “My darling is now flying like a bird in Allah’s paradise.” This belief will give you the strength to sleep peacefully at night. Having the hope of meeting your child in the afterlife means changing gratitude into peace.
Do you want to know the last consolation and the way to organize yourself?
We learned about facing society and helping other mothers. But how do you stop that crying when you are alone in the corner of your house? Or when will you start dreaming of becoming a mother again? In the 3rd step of Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day, we will learn about the real medicine to heal the wounds of the mind and the colorful dreams of the future. Remember, the deeper the night, the closer the morning comes!
Overcoming Grief: Leave it to Time
Come on, it takes time to heal the wounds of the mind. Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day teaches us that there is no need to force a smile on your face. When you want to cry, cry hard. Tears are the best medicine to get rid of the poison in your mind. But be careful not to let grief drown you in darkness forever. Just as you honor the memory of your beloved by lighting a candle on October 15, learn to honor your own life.
Do you think you will never be able to laugh again? No, time heals all big wounds. After Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day, slowly focus on your hobbies. If you like sewing, then weave Nakshi Kantha, or if you like cooking, cook something new. If you keep your mind busy, you will have fewer unnecessary thoughts. Remember, even if your beloved has passed away, she has made you a ‘mother’. Stand tall with this motherhood glory. Your smile will be the peace of your lost child’s soul.
Writing a diary or letter
You can write down all the things that are on your mind in a notebook. On Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day, write a letter to your beloved – in it, pour out all your unspoken love and pain. When you pour out your heart on paper, you will see that the burden on your chest has become much lighter.
Professional help or advice from elders
If you find that even after many months, you are not able to sleep or have no appetite, then seek the advice of an experienced midwife or doctor. It is not possible for everyone to cope with the grief of Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day alone. Taking someone’s help is a great proof of self-love.
Sowing the seeds of new dreams again: Preparing the body and mind
It is absolutely wrong to think that once the womb is empty, it will remain empty for the rest of your life. Miscarriage and infant loss day gives us the courage to live a new life. Daimara says that just as a farmer does not give up if the land does not yield once, you should not give up hope either. However, before becoming a mother again, you must prepare your body to the fullest. Give yourself at least 3 to 6 months so that your uterus and hormones return to normal.
Are you afraid if this happens again? It is normal to be afraid, but life is about overcoming fear. Change your strength with the help of Miscarriage and infant loss day. This time before becoming a mother, eat more nutritious food, take iron and calcium pills regularly. Get a checkup with a doctor to see why this happened. Allah is very kind, if He wants, your womb will light up again and a beautiful gem will come out. Have faith in yourself and your superiors The moon can be seen only after the dark night.
Nutritious food and rest
Eat more liver, eggs, milk and green vegetables before having a new baby. Give your body time to get rid of the fatigue of miscarriage and infant loss day. If the body is strong, the mind is also strong. Keeping yourself fit means building a strong house for the future child.
Understanding between husband and wife
Talk openly with your husband before having a child again. You two are going through the grief of miscarriage and infant loss day together, so let the two of you start the future journey together with joy. Having each other’s courage is the most important thing at this time.
Conclusion: Eternal love and a new beginning
The main point of our discussion on Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day is your lost gem will never fade, it will become a star in your heart. Honoring that memory on October 15th is a great sign of your motherhood. May your coming days be filled with peace and happiness, I pray. Remember, you are an infinitely brave mother. This grief of Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day has not come to weaken you, but rather has come to make you more magical and tolerant. Take care of yourself, hold the hands of your loved ones and wait for a new dawn. Your lap will be light again this is the hope of all of us.
